9 years.

9 years have passed. 

And it didn't certainly passed in a blink of an eye so let's recap. In 2022, I am now a proud mother of two beautiful boys, Caden and Mason. They're both 9 and 6 now. 

Caden is currently in P4, I mean, can you imagine? Me being a mother of a pre-teen! He surely has a mind of his own and I'm constantly amused by his growth and knowledge. He is truly a mini-me in so many ways but I love it. I love how meticulous he is and how his mind works. He gets anxious as easily as me and it's super challenging to curb that but at the same time, amusing to see how I can see myself in him.

Mason is currently 6 years old right now. He was properly diagnosed to have ASD 3 years ago and I've mostly come in terms with his diagnosis and all I want for him is just to be happy. I say mostly because because I am only human. Most days are bright and sunny but I won't lie that there are some days where I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about his future and I can't help but to wonder who is going to take care of him after I'm gone. But other than that, Mason is a really happy child and I feel blessed. 

He has his own character and for a child with limited vocabulary, he is sure very vocal about what he wants and his decision making too. Mason is generally a happy child who regulates quite easily, as long as we keep telling him what's gonna happen to manage this expectations. He's currently in an intervention centre and I love how the teachers are very emphatic to him and can read him relatively well. If people around me learns about Mason and asks me if there is anything I want of Mason, my answer is usually (and I still stand by it) is that all I want from Mason is to be happy.  

I am not too fussed about his academics and my only wish for him is to be functional. To have a great quality of life. To be able to live day by day independently and most importantly, be happy. 

And then there's me. I would say that 2022 has been truly an eventful year for me. In July 2022, I found out I had breast cancer. 50% of my breast has been infected and the breast surgeon told me that my only treatment plan is to have a mastectomy. And I'm like wow, how do you digest all of that information in one sitting haha. My first reaction to this piece of news was "why? why me?" and my following thoughts were mostly "I have to be well for my kids because my kids depend on me and they're still so young."

So I made an appointment for my surgery 2 weeks after receiving that piece of news. That 2 weeks has truly been a whirlwind of emotions. Mostly ups, but when the down hits me, it hits me really hard. I will suddenly turn to God demanding answers. Like why, of all people, me? It is because of my diet? But I feel like my diet has been relatively ok. I don't eat junk food everyday and let's not start about exercising. 

I picked up spinning 2 years ago and have been hooked onto it that I look forward to my classes before I go to sleep every night. I usually go for my spin classes 4-5 times a week and some days I could even go for back to back classes. So health aside, why me? What did I do to deserve this? As much as I want this to be a passing thought, it's not. I will need some time to recollect my thoughts and tell myself that God knows I am strong enough to overcome this. So most days, I am at peace with myself and trying to live life to the fullest. 

Ok. I should do a part 2 soon cause mummy duties!

Iron Man 3: My Way

Wow. I wonder how long has it been since I last blogged. Life has really caught up with me. Gone were the times I had time to rant on my blog. Just last year, I've been caught up with wedding plans and all. But 3 months from now I'm gonna be a mom. Can you believe it? A mom! Sometimes, it still does feel surreal that I'm pregnant but reality kicks in when the baby actually kicks me in my tummy. 

When the baby comes, I'm really gonna miss spending my lazy weekends where I can lay on bed until 11am just so I can and the days where I could just slip onto a simple top and run errands without much worry. With that, until the baby makes his/her debut, I'm gonna go out on dates with Andrew as much as possible! Be it a movie date.. or a dinner date.. or even better, a shopping date! Hehe.

Speaking of movie dates, I can't believe Iron Man 3 is gonna come out in a weeks' time! Time really does fly and I cannot wait to watch them! 

If I am able to customize my Iron Man suit to make it extra special, I would totally invent an Invisibuster!  Not to say that Tony Stark's current suit is lame, it's actually beyond cool and wouldn't it be better if it has an invisibility function? With that, Tony Stark can attack his enemies without revealing who he really is! He'll be those humble brag where he can punch and kick those baddies. Best of all, the enemies will never find out who their opponents were!

Can't wait to watch Iron Man 3 on the big screen! Find out more about Iron Man 3 here. 

A&W Wedding: The Pre-Wedding Photo Shoot

In the beginning of our wedding planning, we've been looking at a few free-lance photographers and we really loved their work. My initial pre-wedding photo shoot plan was to rent a wedding dress & a tux and engage with one of the free-lance photographers. We even met up with a few of them and were entirely mesmerised by their work but sadly, threatened by their price.

Andrew and I both knew that if we settle for that option, it will totally cost us a big fraction of our wedding budget and we were not too sure whether it was worth splurging for.. So we had to opt for the more affordable option, to engage a bridal studio.

So from there and then, we spent most of our spare time popping by as many bridal studios as possible to be attracted with their pre-wedding photo shoot packages and mainly, to try on dresses to see which cutting suits me best, whether it be the mermaid/trumpet wedding dress, the a line wedding dress, the empire wedding dress.. gah! So much to digest!

The first wedding dress that I've tried on! It was quite ugly.. but the only thought that was running through my head was "OMG I'm in a wedding dress! :O" 

Okay.. I had to calm self and focus! Quite like the cutting of this dress, except the chest area..  At that time, I was looking for a sweetheart cut. 

Loved the sweetheart cut but I didn't like the back of the dress.

It had three awkward ribbons at the back of the dress and the employee told me it wasn't possible to remove them. Oh well.. moving on!

After three weeks of finding the perfect wedding dress to rent & to engage their pre-wedding photo shoot services, I became super demotivated cause I couldn't find "the" wedding dress for me so Andrew and I played a game we call "the wedding roulette" and we randomly picked our bridal studio. Haha.. #truestory

I would say, the packages offered by those bridal studios were almost similar and there weren't any particular reason why we engaged De Casamia for their pre-wedding photo shoot services. Their prices were reasonable and I was at a point where I couldn't care whether I could find "the" wedding dress. I was more of in a i-just-want-to-get-over-this phase. 

Here are some of the dresses I've tried:

Didn't quite fancy this dress as it make my body looked short and stumpy. 

Errr.. I wasn't digging this as well as their embroideries were a sight for sore eyes. T_T 

Haha.. I would say, the entire wedding dress hunt was quite depressing but I try not to let it get the best of me. Though I wasn't contented with our decision, I've always reminded myself to enjoy the entire wedding planning process and if the pictures turned out ugly.. well, Andrew and I have pinky promised to bury our albums and never let a single soul see it! 

A&W Wedding: The Venue

I've been dreading all these updates for too long but today, I thought to myself, if I don't document this, my sotong memory will fail me one day and I'm going to bawl like a baby whenever I try to reminisce our entire wedding planning process until our wedding day so here I am, documenting!

Ever since Andrew and I got engaged, I became all Monica and started my planning for this wedding. We even took some time off to fly home to Brunei to decide on the skeleton of the wedding: the venue!

Getting both parents to meet up wasn't difficult… or scary. In fact, I felt glad that they finally get to meet and it's heart-warming to see both mothers reminisce about the times where Andrew and I were toddlers and all. You know… topics were mothers will never get bored of even after repeating for the 2934th time! 

Anyway, we've then decided on having a ROM in KL and a wedding reception in Brunei because, you know, Andrew and I have spent most of our lives in Brunei and we couldn't think of anywhere else better to celebrate this joyous occasion. So from there and then, my mom started moulding plans to our Brunei wedding reception, where as, Andrew and I, were fully hands on for our ROM in KL. 

Scouting for venues wasn't the biggest challenge throughout this entire wedding planning. Within a week, my mom managed to lock down Rizqun International Hotel which was my second option as The Empire Hotel was already booked during our good auspicious date.

My superman dad checking out the venue for me. *kisses*

As for our ROM venue, Andrew and I are quite an easy couple, I'd have to say. As long as the venue is decent and the prices complies to our expectations, we're ay-okay! We were juggling between three venues: Delicious in Duo Residency, Carcosa Seri Negara and Ben's in Publika. After comparing their prices and see what they can throw in for us, we decided on Carcosa Seri Negara cause Andrew fell in love with its venue and it's historical heritage mansion. 

Look at its pretty make up area! D: 

So it has been decided, the venue of both our reception. One down, a gazillion more decisions to go! :)

Next post will be about our pre-wedding photo shoot! 

You wait little girl, on a empty stage, for fate to turn the lights on

To my 16 year old self,

Your high school years have just come to an end and each time someone asks about your future plans, you can't help but to look out for your best interest out of that big black hole which you call your "future" while your classmates most probably have template answers to those questions, be it lawyers or doctors. Whopeedoo, just your luck!

Your results were only sufficient to enrol in a government school in Brunei and you're probably dreading the fact that you have to wear tudong for the next two years and honestly, I won't blame you for wondering what the heck were you doing the subjects you absolutely loathe.

16 year old self, you're also probably going through your the worst heartbreak of the century cause your boyfriend has just dumped you for another girl and I'm sure you're wondering whether you're able to love again. Don't worry, because first cut is always the deepest and I promise that you'll eventually meet the most amazing guy you can ever hoped for.

In terms of education, let's get this straight. You're not the most intellectual person academically and you'll barely pass your college years but don't beat yourself up too much because you will start to realise what you actually love doing and excel in university without failing anything! :) As a cherry on top, this is the time where you'll meet that most amazing guy I've previously mentioned and at this time, you will be planning a marriage with him. Can you imagine? You're gonna be married! You're gonna be a MRS!

This is also the time where you should start exercising and maintaining your figure because 16 year old self, you will definitely blame me for not warning you earlier. Uhh... Let's just say, at 24 years old, your "curves" will be more prominent and.... you are NOT gonna like what you see. So yeah, EXERCISE! And don't make fun of fat people!

So 16 year old self, please stop spending your sleepless nights crying over your ex boyfriend and instead, you can work on having a better relationship with your parents & have enough courage to let them know your career hopes & dreams so you wouldn't have to waste your time in that crappy government school.

I have to admit, I do miss being 16 sometimes, and I don't regret to have ever be you. You were kinda cool, but in a gothic kinda way. Though you were a girl with a few words, at 16, you will see who your true friends are and spend those sleepless nights gossiping away without mom and dad knowing! You were kinda a ninja! ;)

Love & minimal regrets,
24 year old me.

You can kid the world, but not your sister.

I like spending time with my sister. It has been 2 years since she left Brunei to further her studies in KL and it's nice to know that she's around. With me working a 9 to 5 job, she is always there to take care of Louie and occasionally cook dinner for Andrew and I.

I have to admit, I do have some sort of sister complex with Elaine. For instance, both of us will try not to make any plans during weekends cause that's the only time where we can have our cheat meals and just be around each other. Clingy much? But I don't care! :P

Our conversations can be of anything. Of the weather. Of her uni life. Of my job.. anything.

There's one story which Elaine finds it amusing to tell the people around us whenever we hang out and it goes something like this: 

"My sister was a grumpy child. When she was a teenager, she hardly talks to ANYBODY and she never smiles. She used to come home from school and spends her afternoon sleeping. My friends were always scared of my sister cause she frowns all the time."

HAHAHA. It was kinda true, I have to admit. I was grumpy.. and I didn't know why. I took everything seriously & I used to think my parents were naggy & annoying. But about the frowning part, I beg to differ! You see, I'm a stubborn child and by that, it means that I despise wearing glasses though I have a terrible eye sight. WHICH, in my defense, is the reason why I frown...well, not exactly frowning, but squinting so I could see better. So ha! I do not frown, Elaine, I squint and occasionally glare.

I do love my sister. After all, she's my only baby sister. If I don't spoil her, who will? :)

Anywayyyyy, if I were given a chance to be any animal, I will definitely be a bull. I'll knock those bad boys with my horns and I will be able to detect fear with my sharp vision! And with stubborn as my personality trait, I'll be undefeatable!! Oh well, I guess I'm a Taurus for a reason, right? Hehe!

Can't wait to catch Spiderman in the cinema! I think I'll be able to defeat him. Pffft. That cob webbed creature is going down! *flares nose*

Mr Piggy & Miss Piggy

Once upon a time, there lived two piggies who declared themselves as soul mates when their eyes met across the barn 4 years ago. They were Mr Piggy & Miss Piggy.

Yesterday, Mr Piggy turned 25 years old and Miss Piggy surprised Mr Piggy with a workout bench! Well, at some point, any of us are bound to go through a quarter life crisis so why don't we try to sweat all the negativity away? Hehe.

To celebrate this joyous occasion, Miss Piggy decided to treat Mr Piggy a scrumptious dinner at El Cerdo and boy, it was a feast!

Both of them started off Jamón Serrano as an appetizer. It's basically an imported high quality Spanish cured & air dried ham served on rock melon.

Next, they had marinated pork shoulder steak. Mr & Miss Piggy went into a food-gasm fit. They were crying because it was sad knowing that they had to eat their cousins or relatives.. so to make things better, they savoured every bite they took. Mmmm..

And instead of ending their dinner with yummy dessert, Mr & Miss Piggy decided to live on the edge & ordered another main course; the mountain paella which was paella style rice with pork bacon, chicken & fresh mushroom. And no, they did not over order.. they just love eating leftovers!

It was a satisfying meal.. though their piggy cousins were probably killed along the way.. it was kinda worth it. And hey.. that's what the workout bench is for right? Think repent.. eat and then repent!

Mr Piggy & Miss Piggy lived happily ever after! :)

The End.